Well, here we go again...

 Well, this isn't the first blog that I've ever had. I had a Xanga at one point in my life, when it was cool, of course. Now, here I am again. I want a journal, I want one so badly, but the thought of writing one is dreadful. Considering I hardly ever pick up a pen and paper I think that writers cramp would begin one paragraph in... why put myself through the agony of trying to release my thoughts and get carpel tunnel at the same time? Exactly.

So like I said, here I am. I moved to here with my girlfriend. Back home things were always on the up and up -- never fought, never anything except be happy -- here, however, I don't have any friends (or very few, at least), I don't have my own car, and I definitely don't know how to get around... We have a tiff or two here and there every single day. It gets old and I am so tired of it. She also insists on talking to her ex all the time. I hate it. I've fought tooth and nail on this and she just gets mad and tells me that she doesn't think it's fair. What the flying fuck!? Why is it NOT fair? What did I do to deserve to have to sit through this bullshit. I  stopped talking to multiple people because it made her uncomfortable but the ONE person that makes ME uncomfortable she can't. Because she "misses having someone to talk to about all the stupid shows they like" and she ''misses her FRIEND''   -- her friend that talks shit about me and her friend that she cannot seem to find the words to defend me when I get put down. So now I've decided to try this new things where I just don't care. About anything.  I just get irritated, write tweets and then delete them before I can send them to the world, and cry alone.  Whenever the lady catches wind of this though she says "but I want you to tell me, I don't want you hurt''  Well if you don't want me fucking hurt than fucking GIVE UP YOUR EX. 

 

Everyday is the same thing. Same fight. Over the same people. Same situation. Same bullshit. 

 

I just give up. I can't do it anymore. So, this is day number two of trying to not care. Of trying to just....be. Be what? I don't know exactly. Alive? Here? 

 

Here goes nothing...

Wish me luck.